Finding friends or dating
First came the conversation with my husband: "Are you OK with me doing this? Two or three matches I was dead-keen to meet pretty early on: The conversations flowing, the interests mutual, the humour well-received. There were some unfortunate experiences, too, where the chat turned sour. All of such experiences had me unmatching reasonably swiftly." and then the warnings from existing friends: "Seriously, a lot of people on Tinder will think the 'friends' thing is a front for cheating and/or three-ways." I downloaded the app, created my profile using my most recent Facebook pictures, and wrote a short bio with a full disclaimer of what I was on Tinder for. Others petered out quickly because of mundane chat on both sides, though the communication was never as banal as on other dating apps (where "Up to? There were matches who obviously didn't read my bio and persistently asked what my husband and I were "looking for"; and a match that, despite my diplomacy, offended me more than once and caveated it with, "I'm not rude. When it came to my first real life Tinder Friend Date, I felt as nervous as if I were single and dating again.As if they got their Tinder jollies simply by matching and chatting, felt validated through that, and never had plans to turn digital interaction into real life.
I felt dismissive and judgmental from the outset, but knew it was part of the game and the only way to progress forward. Nonchalantly sipping my sad glass of wine alone, I knew then he was never to be heard from again.
The next morning (or even that night) come the recriminations: Was it wrong to give that person the sexual green light when you had no intention of rekindling the emotional side of the relationship?